So I was listening to the Detroit talk radio stations this morning and U.S. Representative Fred Upton (R-Mich.) came on, talking about his great new Daylight Savings Time plan. Apparently he rigged it so that DST will now start 3 weeks earlier and end 1 week later. “This is going to save 100,000 gallons of oil a day!” he shouted gleefully.
The host, Frank Beckman, asked him how.
Upton: “It’s simple. NASA and the Astronauts have determined that when we wake up with the sun, we save more energy. And the sun rises earlier from March through October.”
Host: “But how does that save 100,000 gallons of oil a day?”
Upton: “When we wake up with the sun, it is lighter out and so we aren’t going to have to turn on all our lights.”
Host: “Ohhhhh. So instead of waking up when it’s pitch black, we will wake up at the crack of dawn?”
Upton: “Exactly!”
Host: “I got it. But wait — won’t we just use more energy at night when it gets darker earlier?”
Upton: (silence) “Uhh, well the Astronauts said.”
Host: “Okay.”
This, in itself, is hilarious enough to not need any additional commentary. But it is worth noting that not only was Upton’s explanation of the oil-saving wrong, but so was his entire description of the how the new DST program was going to work. This following quote is from the lead of an AP story yesterday:
“One element in the new energy bill signed into law by President Bush on Monday will affect nearly every American: less daylight in the mornings and more in the evenings.”
It appears that the new bill is not changing DST to correspond better with the rising of the sun; it is extending DST to do the same thing it does now, just more of it. Right now, we “spring ahead” and “fall back.” Springing ahead means setting the clock ahead one hour, thus making it DARKER in the morning and LIGHTER at night. Upton’s bill is just extending this! Upton doesn’t even know what his freakin’ bill does!!!
And so, our government yet again displays its neverending brilliance. God Bless America. God Bless Fred Upton.
