To quote a friend…

Life…….what else is there to say? It’s insane. So maybe to get through it, it helps to be a little bit insane yourself.

Why I Feel Unloved, Reason #238

Matt: “I want to be with you.”
MBNA: (silence)
Matt: “Say something. I need you.”
MBNA: “We received your request.”
Matt: “Well, what are you going to do about?”
MBNA: “We have given your application individual attention…”
Matt: “…and?”
MBNA: “…and have made every attempt to approve it…”
Matt: “Dammit, what are you getting at? I want it to work, you want it to work, why do you have that look on your face?”
MBNA: (long pause) “After careful review, we are unable to approve your request at this time.”
Matt: “What! Why???”
MBNA: “We have determined that your credit references have not been established for a sufficient amount of time…”
Matt: “Look, I’ll admit it, I don’t have a lot of long term relationships. I’m unique. I’m picky. I need someone special. I thought you were special. I thought we could make beautiful music together.”
MBNA: (silence)
Matt: “What? Is there something else?”
MBNA: (pregnant pause)
Matt: “I can’t take this. Please tell me.”
MBNA: “You have a history of delinquency.”
Matt: (looks away)
MBNA: “With your creditors.”
Matt: “Yes, I know! Times were rough. I had a lot of homework. So many papers, so many deadlines. Something was bound to fall through the cracks. I didn’t mean it, baby. It wasn’t intentional. I’m a good guy — ask anybody.”
MBNA: “This decision was based on information obtained from your application…”
Matt: “You used my own words against me??”
MBNA: “…as well as the credit reporting agency…”
Matt: “That bitch. She hates me. Don’t trust a word she says. She’s fucking crazy.”
MBNA: (silence)
Matt: “Well, is that it?”
MBNA: (looks at her shoes)
Matt: “There will never be anything between us?”
MBNA: “If you have any additional information…”
Matt: “…yes?”
MBNA: “…that would allow us to reconsider our decision…”
Matt: “You would reconsider?”
MBNA: “…please write to us.”
Matt: “You don’t want to talk to me.”
MBNA: (silence)
Matt: “Well you can wait by your fucking mailbox all you want. I’m not writing to you.”
MBNA: (starts to walk away)
Matt: “Wait, baby, wait!”
MBNA: (gets in her car)
Matt: “I’ll write to you! I will!”
MBNA: (drives away)
Matt: (to himself) “Bitch.”

If it was so predictable, why am I crying?

Bisexual girls love me, because I am the perfect blend of masculine and feminine. At least this is what they tell me. Okay, this is what she told me.

It didn’t last very long.

Anyway, her theory went like this: She was attracted to both guys and girls, and I was the best of both worlds. I liked to work out, and I could take charge — yet I was also a choir boy with a love of fine music and nature, and in touch with my feminine side.

This was exemplified tonight when, even after predicting *exactly* what would happen, I still teared up when Rachel left Ross at the airport, and then the tears started streaming when she walked into Ross’s apartment as he was listening to her answering machine message.

I chalk this up to three things: 1) I started watching the show when it came out hace 10 anos. Though I haven’t watched it regularly in years, I did watch it all the time in high school… So it kind of reminds me of my childhood. 2) I am tired and stressed out with finals and school, so I am in a weakened emotional state. 3) Rachel and Monica never actually mud-wrestled together. I was waiting for that for the past DECADE, and I heard a rumor it was going to happen this year, and it DIDN’T happen, and now it will never happen.

So I cry. I am not ashamed at my inner woman. Indeed, I think she should help me out more often. Maybe then my house would be clean, and I’d actually have some homecooked meals to dine upon.

The Spectrum of Coolness

I feel really bad for Darryl, the 13-year-old black kid who was brought up on criminal charges after he finally fought back against bullies who had been picking on him for years. (Can I say “black kid?” or is it rude? Oh well.) Apparently the kids used to hit him, pee on him, call him gay, and so forth.

But what I find interesting is this quote from a news piece about it:

Daryl, who cried at his sentencing hearing Wednesday, says kids at his school are still making fun of him daily even after all that he’s been through.

“Most of the time they call me white,” said Daryl, who is black. “It’s better than what they were calling me before. But I’ve learned not to deal with them.”

So apparently “white” is better than “gay.” I think I’m happy to hear that? Still, I don’t like the fact that “white” is an insult to a black guy. I wouldn’t be insulted if somebody called me “black.” I guess the spectrum, then, is as follows:

Gay –> White –> Black

Okay. I’m glad we got that straightened out.

I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.

I got a new bed! It is a queen size hunk of 18-inch-deep mattresses (that’s JUST the mattress part, not the box spring), and lots and lots of Conforma foam (it cradles me). It is very squishy…. mmm, tired. The problem with getting a new bed during finals period is that all I want to do now is sleep! Well, that’s all I wanted to do before too, but now I have more reason to do so. *sigh* I didn’t know they would be able to deliver it the next day! I thought I would have to wait a week!

*breathe* Two days. I will be done in two days.

So far finals have gone well. Think I nailed at least 1, and maybe 2 of them. We shall see. Too bad I know *nothing* about Global Perspectives. (Yes, nothing. Literally nothing. What the hell did we do for three months?!!!!!??!!)

After the Global slaughter on Friday, I will have 2+ weeks of R&R before my 6th Circuit appellate court externship begins. That means seven weeks of a daily 1 hour commute, PLUS working my ass off on a daily basis.

Then another month and a half of laying around on my ass. Oh, and getting in shape.

Then school begins again on August 23rd… damn, they don’t give us much time, do they?